Big Changes

I'm so excited to share what I've been up to this spring and my plans for the future!  Are you sitting down, because here I go...

At the end of August I'm moving to New Jersey.  Yes, it surprises me too!  But there's more:  I'm going to live in a convent!  Yep!  I'm going with the intention of taking theology courses, praying more, living more simply, and mostly discerning God's will for my life (specifically if am I meant to be a nun).  Let me tell you what has lead me to make such a surprising, unconventional change in my life.

Simply put: God.

During Lent, I wanted to do something that would be meaningful and truly draw me closer to God.  While many give up something like chocolate, TV, or soda, I knew that I wanted to DO something.  I decided to do the Stations of the Cross each Friday.  One Friday during stations as a priest described his call from God to the priesthood, I had chills down my spine.  In church over the next few weeks I felt like God was calling ME to join him through religious life.  Actually, he was asking me to join him. (I hope that this doesn't make me sound crazy saying that God is speaking to me.  I haven't heard a booming voice from the heavens.  It's not like that.  Though the past few months I've really come to see how God speaks through prayer, life experiences, the bible, and even in dreams.)  At first I was surprised, scared, and mostly sad.  I knew that if I said yes to his call to religious life, I would give up so much that I'd been looking forward to in adult life:  marriage and children.  I am certain that I would be an amazing mother.  It was hard to accept that God would have other plans for me.

There were so many signs affirming that God was calling me to religious life, I couldn't help but submit.  What was my next move... Google it!  I quickly became overwhelmed by how many different communities of women religious there are in the US!  Each community, or order, has a different focus, different rules, and different ways to show God's love in the world.  I went to bed several nights with watery eyes from spending so much time looking at the websites of different orders.  During this time I learned two more things from God:  1. that I'm still supposed to teach (such a relief since I love teaching and being with children) 2. that I'm supposed to move away from my family (ugh, that was another tough blow since I have had an amazing year back in Vermont).

Over Memorial Day weekend an order in New Jersey was having a weekend for women who are considering going a community.  I went and was blown away by how wonderful my weekend was!  I felt like I had found something that I had been searching for so long.  I felt peaceful, comfortable, and joyful while I was there.  I had not laughed like that in so long.  Several times I felt myself smiling so broadly that my face hurt.  It was amazing!  I truly didn't want to go back home.

After much prayer, reflection, and even visiting another order, I knew that what I felt while with the sisters in New Jersey was so special.  So at then end of June I took the huge step of requesting to begin the application process.  I am at peace with this decision and so excited to see where this journey takes me!